Corsets and Cuddles

Waking up #2

We are lying together sleeping.  You on your back and me snuggled to your chest your arm around me and mine draped across you, a sheet covering us.  I wake up feeling very happy and very cozy and very very horny. I slowly move my hand down and gently stroke you through your boxers and you sigh a little in your sleep. That is nice, but not quite enough.  I move my other hand to push me up just enough so that I can slide down under the sheet.  I stroke you once more before leaning over to kiss the head of your cock through your boxers. My breath blows warmly over the material as I kiss you several more times.  I let my hand caress your balls as I nuzzle you softly with my cheek between kisses.  You have started to wake now, I can hear your breathing quicken as you begin to harden. I shift just a bit, I am no longer happy teasing you this way. I must feel you against my hand, my face, my lips, my tongue. I reach up and pull down your waistband revealing your beautiful cock to me. I lean forward and greedily take you into my mouth causing you to gasp. That sound only increases my desire to suck you to full wakefulness and orgasm.  
I gently suck on your cock feeling it swell in my mouth. I release you to lick and kiss all over the shaft and move down, licking and sucking your balls, pulling them into my mouth with my tongue. Once more you  react with gasps and moans of pleasure. I smile as I release them and move to again take you in my mouth. I move my hand to hold your balls, cupping them as my fingers grasp the base of your shaft and stroke as I move my head up and down. I love the feel of you swelling in my mouth, filling me up, pressing against my lips and tongue.  I slide down over you feeling you press against the back of my throat and I hold there until I need to pull back to breathe.  I feel a quick draft and you throw off the sheet covering us so that you can watch me. I smile around your dick, never slowing my gentle bobbing as I shift just enough to give you a clear view of my lips clamped around you.  I can see the smile on your face as you watch me. 
I begin to work in earnest now, playing to my audience. I lever myself up onto my elbow giving a greater range of motion as I move up and down, I begin to move my head in small circles allowing my tongue to flick around on all sides of you. I increase the pressure of the strokes that accompany my mouth.  I look up to check on you, your eyes meet mine and I see the desire in them.  I move faster, taking you deep with each plunge of my head.  I stop stroking, moving my hand aside so that I can take you deep in my throat pressing down each time.  Your hand moves to stroke my hair, I love the feel of your hand on my head and I sigh.  I keep up the deep strokes, listening to your little moans of pleasure. I feel your body begin to tense up, you are nearing climax now.  
Knowing are close excites me more, my moans of pleasure begin to  mix with yours.  I pick up speed again but stop going as deep so that I can stroke you as well.  You begin to thrust your hips up to meet me.  You bring your other hand down to my head and  twine your fingers in my hair, giving you a good grip and you take control of me. You pull me to you and thrust harder.  I abandon myself to the feeling of being used by you. I moan louder with the pleasure I get from pleasing you.  Your breathing is coming fast and heavy now you are so close, you press my head to your groin making smaller thrusts as you rock against the back of my throat and then it comes. Your orgasm moves through your body and you tense, holding me to you, your cum shooting into my mouth.  I swallow hungrily as you cum for me.   The tension goes and  you release your hold on my but I don’t pull away.  I love the feel of you in my mouth to much to let you go yet. I suck gently, pulling the last little bit from you. When I do release you I stay, I lick and kiss your cock, rub you on my face.  I don’t want this to end, I love the feel of you against my skin, the taste of you lingers in my mouth. You stoke my hair again and smile down at me. The look on your face makes my heart leap with joy. You tell me what a good girl I am and I smile as I continue to lick your slowly softening dick.
Your hand leaves my hair and runs down my side and you push it between my legs. You smile broadly as you feel my panties, soaking wet.  I smile and moan as you press your fingers to my already swollen clit.  Now its your turn

Waking up #1

I’m asleep on my stomach, One arm lying at my side the other holding a pillow, my legs slightly parted. I am wakened by you rolling on top of me. I give a sigh as you kiss my cheek and your hand slides down my arm and grasps my hand as it rests on the pillow. I can feel your cock, already hard, pressing into me. You shift slightly moving your knees between my legs forcing them to spread for you. You gently rock your hips pressing you cock into the cleft of my ass and sliding down and back up again. I moan, it feels so good to have you rubbing on me this way. You kiss my cheek, my ear, my neck stopping briefly to bite but not too hard, not yet.

You open your legs wider forcing me to open for you, your hips press down moving your cock to my pussy. As you touch the slowly moistening lips I groan and shift, tilting my hips up to meet your downward movement. You release my hand and reach down grabbing your throbbing dick and press it to me sliding the head up and down a couple times before you thrust into me whispering one word into my ear, “Mine”.

The slight friction of your sudden entrance causes me to gasp in pleasure. You once again grab my hand, your other hand pulling mine from my side and up. You move me so that both my arms are up and to the side, holding me there and giving yourself a little leverage as you thrust hard into me, each thrust pushing you deep into me and causing us to rock on the bed. I try to roll my hips to meet you, to pull up my knees but you thrust harder pushing me into the mattress. The feel of your hot breath on my neck and shoulders is maddening. Your kisses and hard bites make me moan and cry out in pleasure. I cum over and over as you continue to ride me.

My pussy now so wet you slide in and out effortlessly my excess juices running down over my throbbing clit and soaking the mattress. Your breathing comes faster and harder as I writhe under you panting and whimpering as I cum again shuddering. You thrust faster and harder until you finally cum holding yourself deep inside as you tremble and give yourself over to the pleasure and release. After, we lie there breathing heavily, you pull my arms in, hugging and holding me tight under you. I feel so safe and loved and happy. You kiss my cheek again, gently, and I say one word to you, “Yours.”

Absence

I debated coming back here or not.  Partially I wasn’t sure I could share any more, I was finding it hard to talk about sex.  So much has changed.  I’m feeling more self assured, my sex life has gotten so much better in almost every way.    The only way it isn’t better was finding out that a long term partner has been fucking other women and didn’t tell me about it.  I’m an understanding person, and I don’t mind sharing.  I do mind being lied to and cheated on.  He’s gone.  History.  I can’t believe I let it go so long.  I should have seen it.  I didn’t want to.  Old story isn’t it.

I have moved on. Well other than needing to vent a little.  I have a new man.  A good man.  A caring and loving man who fully rocks my world.  The sex is amazing and frequent.    It is bliss.  He respects my boundries while broadening my horizons - and that is a difficult task :D   He is adventurous and playful and fun and he worships me, what more could a girl ask for.  I will try to write more and more often.

Loss

It has been longer than I would have liked since I last wrote.  I want to make sure I post something at least once a week.  I had a little loss recently and I’ve had trouble finding the will to “talk” about anything.

It is a little loss because the big one came some time back. There was a breakup and as so many of them go it was bad. He did wrong one time too many.  I could no longer let his lies and manipulations go on so I stood up for myself and we ended.  Even though it was my idea and his fault I still felt guilty and I held on. I continued to keep the scraps of our relationship around me. I’m not talking about the gifts he gave me.  I mean all the other ways we were connected. I had the letters, the emails, all the pseudo social contacts. 

All this time later I continued to try and be the better person. I was superior to so many because I could be okay with him in my life.  I continued to romanticize our relationship. I held to the fallacy that he was a good guy. He was fun to hang out with. It was easy to be with him. He could make me smile so easily. He could (when it suited him) make me feel special. The sex, while not the best ever, was exceptionally good. But he was manipulative, he used me and was emotionally abusive even if he did stop just barely this side of assault. 

It has taken me a while to accept that I can be the better person, the bigger person and all of that and cut him completely out of my life. I cut the final ties. No big announcements. No fanfare.  Like taking off a coat - I just removed all that stuff and walked away.

I am still sad for so many reasons but I’m getting better. 

Fear

I do try to approach relationships with confidence. I like him, he likes me we are in this place for a reason. There is the joy of a new person, the connections that form. Learning a new touch, the feel of new fingers and lips learning me as I learn them. I love finding out about them as a person, what they like, where they are from, and all the little things that make them who they are.

There is something so wonderful about knowing that someone is interested in me. That they want to be with me and to be my partner in whatever way works for us. The thrill of a new text or email and the excitement  and anticipation of seeing them again.  Sometimes it seems that the longest stretch of time is that between the last kiss of an evening together and the first kiss of the next.

There is even the personal victory of having multiple lovers and even having to turn some away. I was told that I would never have anyone in my life. I was told I wasn’t worth it. Ha I say - fuck you assholes, I win.  

Even so, there are times when the fear creeps in.  The fear that  my  lover will suddenly realize that he has made a horrendous mistake. I “know” that he will look at me and wonder what he could ever have been thinking to have had anything to do with me and run, screaming into the night.  The fact that it has never happened doesn’t reassure me when I’m like that.

But then I get a call, a note, a text, see a photo, something to remind me that he likes me. I am reassured that the negative voices are wrong. I know that I am loved and wanted and not alone. He wraps his arms around me and it is all better.

A step to the left

Not quite on theme but my technical ineptitude mirrors so much for me. I feel that I’m missing something obvious here. I can’t seem to respond or at least how to respond to someone who comments on my entries.  Sometimes I can’t figure out how to say something on another entry even though I can see that others have. I feel a bit inadequate. Sigh - techno fail again.

Bittersweet

There is a downside to having multiple lovers and they doing the same. It is seeing them in pain due to problems with their others. I tend to love fully and completely, I give my all to my partners even if it isn’t always returned as fully. I say that not as a complaint but to let you know a bit more about me. I don’t like to hold back.  

When I have a love who is having problems with their other partner and they hurt - I hurt for them sometimes even more than they demonstrate themselves.  All I want to do is wrap them in my arms, hold them close and stroke them, and cry for their hurt. 

It is worse when that is all I can do. Far too often it seems that it is something that I have never had to deal with myself and I’m left simply muttering stupid things and feeling useless.  I don’t underestimate the importance of just being there and listening.  Worst of all is when they live far away.

I am happy that I could be there for him when he needed me today.